The Downtown Bixby Divorce Recovery Support Group
It is our hope that you will find in this fellowship the help and friendship we have been privileged to enjoy. We, too, were lonely and frustrated. However, with the help and encouragement given by this group we are discovering that no situation is really hopeless and that it is possible for us to find contentment – even happiness – whether we have a mate or not. The Downtown Bixby Divorce Recovery Support Group is a support group, not a therapy group. We do not act as professional counselors. In most cases we cannot give you immediate answers to your problems. What we can do is show you that you are not alone, that you have worth and deserve to be happy. We give no guarantees and do not tell you what to do. We give suggestions, hope and sharing. The Downtown Bixby Divorce Recovery Support Group is available to help interested persons through the trauma of divorce; for as long as is needed or until the divorced person is adjusted sufficiently to function in their changed world.
WHAT WE ARE, AND ARE NOT
- We are a support group, not a therapy group.
- We are a Divorced Persons support group. Divorced people meet for peer support.
- We do not act as professional counselors, Individual group members may recommend helpful professionals based on their own personal experiences; this should be done in private, after the group session.
- We cannot give you immediate answers to your problems. What we can do is show you that you are not alone, that you have worth and deserve to be happy …
- We offer supportive confrontation and support to help you make changes.
- We give no guarantees. We do not tell you what to do. We can give suggestions, hope and sharing.
GROUP GROUND RULES
- Do not analyze or interpret the motives of another group member.
- Do not probe into the privacy of another members life.
- Do not evaluate or pass judgment on another group member.
- Any information learned about group members or their families is confidential.
- Do not give unsolicited advice to another group member. If the group member asks for advice, you may:
- Share your own experience in similar situations
- Preface your suggestions with “What would happen if you …” or “How would you feel about …”
Listen, most people do not need answers. They need people who will listen to them in love and understanding, and listening takes time and patience. It is hearing people out, letting them vent their feelings, frustrations and hostilities. It is trying to understand where they are coming from in their life. If unsure of what a group member is saying, check it out by saying, “This is what I hear you saying … “
Be supportive in any way you can. A newly divorced person needs a group of people around them who can help them in human and practical ways. It may mean helping them move, having a garage sale, finding a new job, arranging babysitting, finding a lawyer, etc. Doing everything alone in post-divorce adjustment can be frightening and emotionally draining. Asking the simple question, “How can I help?” will convey your supportiveness.
• group sessions
• peer support
• informative material
• care and concern
FOR BETTER OR WORSE … FOR RICHER OR POORER …
Society’s changing mores have greatly influenced the stability of the family. Recent history indicates that many couples entering a marriage today often have the attitude that “if it doesn’t work out, we’ll just get a divorce.” Whether or not this contributes to the high percentage of divorce in this country is unknown. However, it definitely influences the couple’s willingness to run for the nearest lawyer at the first sign of trouble, rather than work through their problems.
IS IT FOR THE BETTER … OR THE WORSE?
Nowadays we can obtain a divorce easily – sometimes within a matter of days. Is that good or bad? Are we any happier? Certainly in some situations easy divorces are a blessing. However, support can be very helpful in adjustments needed to rebuild a new life.
The Downtown Bixby Church of Christ offers support groups in many areas of life; Marriage counseling, divorce adjustment and grief recovery. Call 366-3316 for more information concerning times and availability.